I had a baby.
I had a baby on Monday. A BABY. A little person was literally grown inside me (I don't know why this comes as such a surprise, it's been happening for donkeys years...) and then was BIRTHED, and now she's mine. Weird.
Let me start again. I had a baby on Monday. A BABY. Life was thrown upside down (again I don't know why this comes as such a surprise, what else was I expecting...) and now I have a 3 day old baby sleeping next to me, tears in my eyes and two cold flannels stuffed down my singlet relieving my thrashed nipples. Weird.
Not one single person could ever prepare a woman for the changes of motherhood. Countless people this week have seen my vagina, boobs, and me at my utter worst form of personal hygiene. I feel beyond exhausted but yet I can't sleep, and although I know I need sleep to help my body, I can't. The uphill battle has begun and I don't have my armour on- I don't feel protected enough to fight. I don't even have clean socks on.
How do women do this? How do they go back for more? WHY do they go back for more? Will my tears settle? Or better yet, when? And despite all of these questions I have that I know can't truly be answered (and I secretly already know what the answers would be, but still feel the need to ask them) I would like to know where I can purchase a machine to pause time just for the odd moment when I feel so complete and at home with my little girl in my arms.
I HAD A BABY.