How I feel about being a permanent 'meals on heels' for Maisey.
Our journey hasn't been easy. It's been full of tears, self-doubt, unnecessary opinions, guilt, shit advice, pain and daily struggle. But do we keep going? Gosh yes. Us Mums have too.
I'm a firm believer that FED is best. It's non of my, or anyone else's business how Mothers feed their little humans. If they're fed, warm, safe and loved then what does it bloody matter. I've been told my 'tits are too small to feed', that I wasn't trying hard enough, that tongue and lip ties are a crock of shit, and that I should just take the easy road and stick Maisey on formula. But it's not about 'easy' or 'hard'. It's about what I as a Mum want to do- and I want to feed Maisey from my boob, despite the bumpy road we took to get where we are. And although your opinion is lovely (not really) it's not needed, and I can guarantee I'm not going to listen.
Questioning Mums, whether you've experienced breastfeeding or not, is beyond the worst possible thing you could do. Whatever happened to genuine SUPPORT? Because if anyone else bloody asks me how long I plan on feeding, you'll be told to get fucked. The thing with breastfeeding is it's not our control or choice. Some Mums have too much milk (bitches), and some don't have enough. Both of this is annoying, but it's also OKAY. Maisey might decide one day that she hates the boob and refuse my milk. Or my body might decide that it's done it's stretch of being a cow and stop producing milk. Yes, I can eat those stupid damn cookies and power pump till I have a breakdown, but it still isn't my decision. So asking women (when they struggle enough), 'how long are you going to feed' or even the opposite 'why haven't you stopped' is demoralising, ridiculous and insensitive. How dare you.
Not only does it make it harder, it makes us feel like we're doing a shit job at being a Mum, partner, friend, sister, human. That sucks. So be the supportive person that we may be secretly crying for but can't actually cry for - because we're too busy being MUMS. We haven't got time for that shit (we haven't got time to bloody shower). And at the end of the day it's actually none of your damn business.
Breastfeeding is supposed to be this 'natural phenomenon' that all Mothers are destined for (HA bullshit) but for something 'so natural' it doesn't come naturally at all to most women, and the stress and pressure is a strong reason as to why most women stop. I can completely see how feeding gets too overwhelming for Mums. It IS overwhelming. It's hard hard work and no one understands until you experience it. And for those that experience it with joy and ease, you are so so lucky! Enjoy it! Just the same as Mums (and Dads) who get to bottle feed their humans (it doesn't matter what's in the bottle- formula, lemonade, expressed milk, water), you are so so lucky! Enjoy it! Your babe is being fed, and you're doing an AMAZING job.
Happy world breastfeeding week 💓